“어떤 사람과 같이 느끼는, 감정 이입이 된 사람은, 그것도 전적으로 감정에 몰입하는 사람은 그 자신에 대해서 그리고 자기 자신에 대해서 비판을 완전히 포기한 것이 되네. 맑은 정신으로 깨어 있는 것이 아니라 꿈속을 해매는 것이지. 무언가 자기가 일을 하는 것이 아니라 다른 사람이 자기를 마음대로 하도록 내버려 두는 거란 말일세. 그렇게 되면 그는 정말 살고 있는 사람이 아니라 다른 사람에 의해 살아지고 또 이용당하는 사람이 되지. 그는 살고 있다는 망상을 하지만 사실에 있어서는 식물인간처럼 살아가는 것이야. 다시 말해 다른 사람이 그의 인생을 사는 걸세.“
-Bertolt Brecht, "예외와 관습Die Ausnahme und die Regel" in Gesammelte Werke in 20 Bänden, Bd.2, Frankfrut, 1967. p.793
Minister:
Everything is more complicated than you think.
You only see a tenth of what is true.
There are a million little strings attached to every choice you make; you can destroy your life every time you choose.
But maybe you won't know for twenty years.
And you may never ever trace it to its source.
And you only get one chance to play it out.
Just try and figure out your own divorce. And they say there is no fate, but there is: it's what you create.
And even though the world goes on for eons and eons, you are only here for a fraction of a fraction of a second.
Most of your time is spent being dead or not yet born.
But while alive, you wait in vain, wasting years, for a phone call or a letter or a look from someone or something to make it all right. And it never comes or it seems to but it doesn't really.
And so you spend your time in vague regret or vaguer hope that something good will come along.
Something to make you feel connected, something to make you feel whole, something to make you feel loved.
And the truth is I feel so angry, and the truth is I feel so fucking sad, and the truth is I've felt so fucking hurt for so fucking long and for just as long I've been pretending I'm OK, just to get along, just for, I don't know why, maybe because no one wants to hear about my misery, because they have their own.
Well, fuck everybody.
Amen.
현미 / 밤안개
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